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Car Con Carne


Apr 5, 2018

For this episode, we visit a long-running south side Chicago institution: Calumet Fisheries (3259 E 95th St, Chicago, IL 60617). I'm joined by my (recently) former WLUP co-workers,
Al Roker, Jr. (YAY YAY! It's a slippery slope!) and Abe Kanan (who joins the podcast for the third time).

In this BOOST MOBILE-sponsored episode:

  • We met at Calumet Fisheries, despite the fact that Abe hates fish.
  • The last time I saw Abe and Al was four weeks to the day... when it was announced the Loop was being sold.
  • Al has to go back to the Loop offices to pick up his boxes, but he's not ready to do the "walk of shame."
  • Radio people should be afraid of being involved in Hollywood films.
  • Roker's (new) signature line: IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
  • The (relative) safety of the neighborhood surrounding Calumet Fisheries ("There's a chance we'll lose our lives here").
  • Abe's "mother sauce" is mayonnaise.
  • Whatever money Calumet Fisheries is making from the restaurant, they are NOT reinvesting in the exterior.
  • Abe drops beard knowledge on me.
  • As usual, the first clip of the show was done live, on-camera, for Facebook Live: "What are you doing, honey?" "I'm watching Al Roker, Jr. lick his fingers on Facebook."
  • The current job search statuses of Roker and Abe (related: HIRE THESE GUYS).
  • The outrageous... truly outrageous... contract request Abe made (and got) from a previous employer.
  • The true test of being unemployed.
  • What would be creepier than LinkedIn's existing creepy feature? If it existed on Facebook ("It would end Facebook").
  • What is a "Roker Girl?" Is it someone who's "plus-sized?"
  • Roker's wife was watching Facebook Live as Roker was talking about "Roker Girls."
  • Has Roker's sexual activity picked up since getting laid off? Spoiler warning: Yes, and ick.
  • Roker and Abe once went to Vegas, ate like idiots and shared a hotel room. The story involves a magnificent buffet, a bathroom and revealing boxer shorts.
  • How does someone get hungry after hitting a buffet? "If you're fat... "
  • I offered Roker an Orange Fanta. "Why would (James) ever buy an Orange Fanta?"
  • We speculate about what happened at the nearby bridge.
  • The unemployment routine: Is it disciplined or disastrous?
  • Why unemployment is like the stages of death.
  • Roker couldn't get a call back from Destination XL.
  • "Death Wish" is not "Die Hard."
  • Awkward transition around 38:00. Somewhere, on the cutting room floor, is a conversation about the things Al Roker, Jr. likes to do with a favorite breakfast condiment. You had to be there.
  • Everything at Calumet Fisheries is stuck in 1967. 
  • Abe's doing "intermittent fasting," and swears it works.
  • Abe: "I was shocked to learn that you eat like we do."
  • Roker watched a stabbing while doing a radio call-in.
  • Roker successfully scrubbed all the porn malware from his computer. 
  • Roker's porn subscriptions.
  • What we'd do if we won the lottery